I don't know if I can go on

So today is day 10. I have lost a total of 14 lbs but have failed to get a measuring tape so I am unaware if I am in fact losing inches. My lovely husband says I do look smaller but I am at that stage that I don't feel like I am.

My cravings are just getting worse and worse. Last night I dreamt I cheated on my diet. I woke up feeling so guilty! The hunger is not as bad as the first week but in the first week I did not have cravings! I was in the car yesterday while a Taco Bell commercial came on. I sat there imagining getting my favorite burrito... Even now while typing my mouth starts to water. I am fearful that my whole life has revolved around food and I just hope this diet will break that.

I have decided to start making candles to help keep me busy. I just need to find the energy I am lacking so I can go to the craft store and get what I need.

The diet continues

So it is now Sunday. I have been on my 500 calorie diet since Thursday. Per the manual hunger may still exist but should pass shortly; I have never felt so hungry for so long in my life. I have no energy and I am literally on the verge of tears. I am doing the diet per the instructions but I cannot help but think that I am doing something wrong. I mean, how is it possible to feel so hungry?!?

The one good thing I can say is I have gone down from 242.5 to 235.5 since Thursday. There are results occurring but I just don't see them for myself yet. I do have a tendency to be a bit hard on myself when it comes to dieting; if I am not losing more than anyone else who has done the diet before me, then I feel I must be doing something wrong.

I have many days ahead of me on this diet and I can only hope it will get better. I have already started planning what I will eat once I can have more than 100 grams of meat in a single serving and what I will eat for my belated birthday dinner. Oh and also what I will be eating on my next binge days... Yeah it's sad, but the only thing that is keeping me going...

The Starting of a Big Journey

So I have started my 500 calorie a day diet today. It started with 2 days of binging; eating as many calories and fat as I physically can. My first day I ate 7014 calories and 311 grams of fat. I felt so sick by the time I ate my lunch at 3:30 I could not eat another bite for the rest of the day. I ended up on the couch with a heating pad on my stomach for 2 hours - it was BAD! By the second day I didn't even want to eat; I had to force myself to eat and eat and eat. I couldn't bring myself to count calories but I do know I ate a sausage and egg breakfast meal from McDonald's, chow mien and 5 egg rolls, a pint of ice cream, chili cheese fries, fried chicken strips and a slice of cake!

Now it is the start of my third day; I am starting my day with a huge bottle of water and a nice strong cup of tea. I get to look forward to 100 grams of chicken and some cucumber for lunch and dinner.

So far, I am longing for some sort of snack but cannot have anything. It is something I will have to get over it I suppose.

I will be posting my measurements and weight later for your viewing pleasure.